"Slarrow" refers to the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" from Hamlet's soliloquy. Here are the chronicles of such darts and whatever attempt there may be to take arms against such a sea of troubles.

Location: Ozarks, United States

Friday, October 01, 2010

The REAL Car/Ditch Metaphor

I'm getting tired of Barack Obama using the metaphor of Republicans driving the economy into a ditch, then asking for the keys back after the virtuous Democrats have pushed it back onto the road. (Best take on this, as usual, belongs to Iowahawk.) It's phony history, given Democrats control of Congress since 2007 and the significant Democrat fingerprints all over the housing/mortgage mess. So here's my version of the metaphor.

The Republicans were driving, breaking the speed limit and going all over the road. The Democrats were in the passenger seat riding along until a couple of years ago when they grabbed the wheel. These two, fighting over the wheel and slamming the gas, drove us into the damn ditch. The Democrats told the Republicans to get in the back seat and decided to try to drive out of the ditch, figuring that if they went far enough and fast enough, the side wouldn't be as steep, and they'd pop right out onto the pavement.

It didn't work. The ditch got steeper, and the car slid down the edges further away from the road. Now the Republicans are saying that's time to stop the car and call a tow service (Tea Party Towing) to get the car out of the ditch before we bust more tires than we have spares and run out of gas to boot. But the Democrats are sure that if we let them drive just a little longer and let them hit the gas just a little more, they're sure to get us back on the road in fine shape.

That's the real driving metaphor. We don't want the car in D for drive, and we don't particularly want it in R for reverse. We want it in P for park. So stop passing thousand-page laws, stop spending money, just hold still so we can pull it out and get it to a mechanic before the bozos driving it cause real irreversible damage.