"Slarrow" refers to the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" from Hamlet's soliloquy. Here are the chronicles of such darts and whatever attempt there may be to take arms against such a sea of troubles.

Location: Ozarks, United States

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Windsurfer Kerry's Uriah Problem

The Swift Boat Vet story is now being joined by the Vietnam Veterans For Truth, so that tells me that Senator Kerry's problems aren't going to go away anytime soon. It strikes me, though, that Kerry's going to have two big problems.

Let's for a moment stipulate that all of Kerry's medals and decorations were earned. We'll even put aside his anti-war activities. The first problem is this: he got three Purple Hearts in Vietnam, and how does he spend his recreation time these days? Windsurfing and snow skiing.

These are already inaccessible to a lot of people, but these activities are especially out of reach to your typical veteran who would have survived three Purple Hearts. I can see the commercial now:

(fade into voiceover from 1971 Congressional hearing, Senator Symington speaking):
Mr. Kerry, please move your microphone. You have a Silver Star; have you not?

Mr. Kerry: Yes, I do.

Senator Symington: And a Purple Heart?

Mr. Kerry: Yes, I do.

(underlying images show Senator Kerry windsurfing, snow skiing, mountain biking, etc.)

Senator Symington: How many clusters?

Mr. Kerry: Two clusters.

Senator Symington: So you have been wounded three times.

Mr. Kerry: Yes, sir.

(underlying images show Senator Kerry windsurfing, snow skiing, mountain biking, etc.)

(camera pans out to show image on television screen. Further pan shows grizzled vet staring at screen. He grunts:) Huh. Must be nice. (fade to black)

Kerry's second problem is that he took advantage of the Navy regulation that let those with three Purple Hearts punch their ticket back home. Some will buy the line that everyone was trying to bug out and get back home.

But not all. Oliver North wrote about turning down a medal in order to stay with his guys. Ah-nuld spoke about a wounded soldier who wanted desperately to get back to his guys, telling the Governator, "Arnold...I'll be back." Sticking with your unit is a strong military tradition, and we have Biblical evidence for it in a story many veterans and veterans' families will remember.

King David's greatest sin has to do with his adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband Uriah the Hittite to cover it up. But before he sent Uriah to his death, he invited him home from the front, hoping to get him to sleep with Bathsheba so David could pass off his baby as Uriah's. David tries twice; the second time he even tries to get Uriah drunk. But Uriah sleeps on the palace steps. When David challenges him and asks why he didn't go home, Uriah replies:

"Uriah said to David, 'The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!'" (2 Samuel 11:11)

Veterans who know their Bible will not be impressed with John Kerry.

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